Originally published October 03, 2021

For those of us who have been at this for some time, we’ve heard it all. And it seems we hear the same things about our lifestyle over and over:

“What about organic meat?”

“What about cage-free?” (Don’t believe the hype.)

“What if it’s grass fed?” (What does that even mean?)

“What if it’s killed humanely?” (No such thing.)

“What about if someone cooks it for you?”

“What if you’re at someone else’s house?”

“What if there’s nothing on the menu?”

“What if you’re on a dessert island and…” (Yeah, yeah. *Yawn*)

But the one that always tends to bug me the most is when people say, “Can’t you eat it *just this once*?” or even better, “You CAN have it just this once.” “C’mon. Just this once.”

Oh brother.

How to even touch upon that one?

It always seems so audacious when someone says that to me. “Just this once.” As if them being in the room means you are going to alter your lifestyle and beliefs. As if you need their permission to stray from what you believe. If you never eat animal “products,’ why would you do it “just this once”?

Yes, this bugs me. Did you notice? I’m not sure why it’s this one above all others. But it is.

I have a good comeback, too. As I’ve talked about, I stopped eating animals in 1987 and finally went vegan for good in early 2012. So when I say, “I haven’t eaten that in 30 years and I have no plans to start today,” people usually back off. But I know my story is somewhat unique and not everyone can claim these things. I think it would still work even if you stopped eating animals a week ago – you might get some pushback, and then again, you might not. It’s worth a try. Either way, stick to what you feel is right. I do believe others will respect you for it, even if they don’t admit it.

After all these years I have no wish to eat animals or their byproducts. If you don’t want to either, then don’t. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been at it. Keep going.

What if we said, just this once I'm going to stay true to my word. Just this once I'm going to respect all other living beings. Just this once I'm going to honor my choices. Just this once I'm going to follow my heart. Just this once I'm going to do the best I can.

Those who follow this lifestyle are generally doing the best we can. If something slips by, it slips by; you move on and it doesn’t mean you’re any less vegan than you were before. But the whole “just this once” argument implies you should not do your best, in fact you should be lax and untrue to your word. Why would anyone encourage someone else to behave that way? To assuage their own feelings of guilt or laziness? Because they can’t deal with someone who’s different? Because they need to be right all the time? Take your pick. And feel free to add to the list.

Eating vegan is so easy, especially today, there is no excuse or reason for “just this once.” Yes, sure I can. Still, I choose not to. How about you?

I probably won’t bring this up again. But thanks for letting me get it off my chest, just this once 😊

Vegan pizza slices at Zazzy's in Manhattan.

Originally published August 06, 2020

If you’re vegan or even vegetarian, you probably have people regularly asking you, “What if you just want some bacon?” or “What if you just want a cheeseburger?”

I think they usually ask about whatever it is they feel *they* would miss the most. My answer is always the same, that if I wanted something that badly I would probably eat it. I stopped eating meat in 1987 and I half joke that honestly, no one has that kind of will power. If you do, that’s awesome. Most people don’t and I didn’t either.

Those close to me know the last thing I “gave up” was seafood and that it’s been the hardest thing to stay away from over the years. I think we all have that one dish from the past that temps us, especially if we don’t know what to eat in its place. A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to eat fish again and I did. I didn’t think too much about it and I didn’t hide it, I just went and did it.

I ate fish for about a month that Summer. I think I had some shrimp in there, too. I don’t remember exactly what I ate, but I remember it wasn’t as exciting as I thought it was going to be. It didn’t taste as good as I’d remembered which was a letdown. It made me feel heavy and weighed down. I’ve seen former vegans on youtube talk about eating fish again and how it made them feel so happy and energized and I definitely didn’t have that experience. I started to feel depressed and lethargic. And I had the worst PMS I had experienced in years; spinning negative thoughts, cramps, all of it. I didn’t feel well at all and the only thing I’d done differently that month was add in some seafood. It didn’t take a genius to decide what to do next. I stopped eating the fish and within a few weeks I felt back to my old self. And the cravings I’d had were gone.

When I get to thinking I miss seafood these days, I instantly remember:

1. How dreadful I felt that Summer.
2. All the photos I have seen of our garbage filled oceans and the cruel and unsustainable ways that fish and sea creatures are caught.
3. The image of the fish with the parasite living in its mouth. Gah. Yeah, if nothing else did the trick, that definitely would have. (Go look up “fish” and “isotope” if you want to see what I’m talking about.)

If you “slip” when living this lifestyle, I think it’s important to remember why you began living and eating this way and not focus too much on the slip. There’s no need to beat yourself up and it’s still okay to call yourself vegan again afterward. Some may disagree with me on all of this and that’s okay, too.

As for seafood cravings, I’ve since learned that pretty much anything dipped in vegan tartar sauce tastes like fish. Anything wrapped in nori and dipped in vegan tartar sauce tastes even more like fish. May-wah, Good Catch, and Gardein have created wonderful faux fish products. Chick peas make delicious “tuna” salad, hearts of palm make a lovely “lobster” roll, and king oyster mushrooms mimic sea scallops perfectly. I’m always on the lookout for vegan versions of seafood. I feel a thousand times better eating this way, it’s better for the planet and I’d stand to guess our beautiful sea creatures are happier, too.

-Lisa

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Hearts of palm as a tasty “lobster” roll. 

Originally published May 09, 2020

One misconception I have dealt with repeatedly is that an invitation to someone’s home for a meal renders you helpless in your choices about what to put in your body. 

It’s a question folks ask wide-eyed as if they know *this* is the one that will break a vegan because an invitation to someone’s home means you must accept and you must eat what they serve you or else you are ungrateful and have bad manners and we wouldn’t want that, right?

Wrong.

The thing is, living a vegan lifestyle is a choice and one that we make every day. In the beginning when I was a vegetarian I ran into this sort of thing more often, but it still happens now and again. And the way I deal with it is to just be honest. Not condescending and no vegan flag waving, but honest. Sometimes I will just say, “Well…” and quite often the other person will say, “Oh, are you…?” and then you can fill in the blank. And then it all depends what happens next. Sometimes the person doing the inviting will say something like, “Oh, I have a wonderful vegan recipe for <whatever> and you can go from there. If it’s someone I trust or they seem to know what they’re talking about, I may take them up on it. If it’s someone I don’t know well, or if they say, “Well, you can just eat a little butter, right?” then I will say something like, “I really don’t want to put you out. Why don’t we go out somewhere together and then we can each order what we like?” and that often makes everyone happy as opposed to asking someone to cook for me and then worrying about what ingredients are in it!

I was in LA visiting my friend Tracey a few years ago. On the ride from the airport she told me a friend had invited us both to a dinner party that Friday night. Uh oh. I felt a tiny ding of panic, but I didn’t say anything for a few seconds because I didn’t want to be that person – you know, the one who flaunts the way they eat or the one who kept their friend in another city from a fun evening out, but…  luckily my friends know me well and Tracey read my mind immediately. “Oh, don’t even worry,” she said. “I already asked. It’s an Indian themed dinner and there will be dishes made without ghee for you.”

Ah.

And indeed there were. The party was small and intimate and there was plenty for me to eat. The host was lovely as were the other attendants. No one batted an eye when I asked which dishes were vegan and in fact, most of them were. The food was delicious and so was the company and I was so happy we’d been invited and gone along. What had the potential to be awkward turned out to be somewhat of a magical evening. I know it’s not always that way, though. I think more often than not these days folks are open when you hesitate to accept an invitation or bring up not eating animals, but sometimes you will get an attitude or an argument and it’s really okay to simply say, “I don’t eat that,” or “Sorry, that doesn’t work for me,” or whatever you want.

There's nothing that says you need to raise your voice or wave a bag of spinach around.

When someone asks something like, “Can’t you just have a little butter,” or “You can eat it just this once, right?” I always say, “Yes. I can. But I choose not to.” I love the word “choice” and veganism is really a choice. It’s not about being perfect, but it is about doing the best you can, even if the result is a raised eyebrow.

And what if that raised eyebrow one day leads to a raised level of consciousness…

- Lisa

 The vegan cobb salad at The Cheesecake Factory; a tasty, filling, and viable choice.

Originally published November 19, 2019

My dad is 81 years old and a wonderful guinea pig when it comes to trying new food and recipes. He will be honest and tell me if he doesn’t like something and often he is surprised that the vegan version of a typical dish is palatable. “Thith ith good!” he’ll declare with a mouthful and I always have to chuckle. We talk about food a lot, but we don’t necessarily discuss veganism. He knows the way I eat, but I feel at his age he can do what he wants. Recently I used the word “controversial” in respect to the vegan movement and he said, “Huh? Controversial? What’s controversial about it? You’re doing a beautiful thing!”

Ah, Dad.

The thing is, I am never quite sure why veganism is so controversial. When I first became a vegetarian I wondered why I hadn’t done it sooner and why everyone else wasn’t doing it, too. For the first six months or so I was rather outspoken about it and I got answers like, “Animals are meant for us to eat,” “It’s just too hard, you’ll starve,” "That's just the way it is," and so on. If I pressed, it always turned into an argument. But why? Is having compassion for animals such an odd thing? Is changing the way you eat to promote a more peaceful planet a reason to make a fuss and yell? To many, yes, yes it is. And who knows why. I get that no one likes to be told what to do and certainly not what to eat, and no one likes a finger waved in their face. Each time I hoped that love and compassion would prevail over stubbornness and ego, but that never really happened.

I learned early on that being a pushy vegetarian did not work. Telling people what to eat did not work. Not only didn’t it work, it had the opposite effect. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and my plate open. Somehow, showing people what I ate without telling *them* what to eat was a gentler way to get my message across. Sometimes. And sometimes just the sight of my tofu scramble or veggie burger will upset someone. I never quite got why lunch was a reason to start an argument, but if you’re vegan, you know what I mean. People have told me they don’t want to know where their food “comes” from, and I think if that’s the case, you *really* need to know where your food comes from.

I still get taunted now and again with things like, “But animals taste delicious!” “Bacon on everything,” and the ever popular, “I can’t LIVE without my cheese!” (Trust me, you can live without it.) It’s kind of amazing to me that folks will argue until the sun goes down in favor of cruel industries that are destroying our planet. And why? Because something tastes good? Because it’s a habit to eat it? Because you ate it as a kid? Because that’s “Just the way it is”?

Are those good enough reasons?

I had to tell my dad the truth and that is I’m really not sure why veganism is controversial. And he’s right, it shouldn’t be. I don’t know why people get so upset over an alternative and cruelty free version of something. Are we as a society so rooted in habit that these dietary adjustments seem insurmountable? When I was a kid you had to get up to change the TV channel. Now we have a remote control that can be operated from across town. Some years ago if you phoned someone and they did not answer, you left a message and hoped you would hear from them soon (and that you were home yourself if and when they decided to call back.)  Now of course, we can contact each other any time, any place. And up until about twenty years ago we had to bring our film in and wait for it to be developed. Now we get to see our photos instantly and the whole world can see them, too. Would we reject any of these conveniences simply because we were used to it the other way?

I know, I’m half being facetious here.

A plant based way of eating may seem inconvenient at the beginning, but the fact is, it’s more convenient for our health, it’s more convenient for the planet, and it’s certainly more convenient for the animals. My dad’s question rings in my ears and I’m still not sure what the answer is. What I do know is I make a wonderful tofu scramble. The next time I cook one I’m going to take a photo and share it instantly with the whole world.

-Lisa  

Dad and little me sharing spaghetti under a 1970s rotary phone.

Originally published May 04, 2019

I was walking on the Upper East Side a few weeks ago and stopped to pet a little dachshund with David Bowie eyes. (Who could resist?) As I was getting acquainted with my new friend, I overheard his humans, two women, talking about how they were attempting to give up meat and other animal products. Of course my ears perked up and I joined their conversation.  I did more listening than talking in the beginning and what they were saying was alarming to me. They were talking about changing their diets, but mostly they were lamenting on how hard it would be. They used the word “hard” over and over:

“This is going to be really hard.”

“Being vegan is really hard.”

“It’s really hard to have to plan your meals every day."

"It's really hard to spend all day in the kitchen...”

You get the idea.

I tried to interject and allay their fears, but they were not easily convinced. They were interested in what I had to say, but I’m not sure they were believing me about how many choices there are today and how easy it is to avoid animal “products.” Or why they would want to. They insisted that eating chicken is healthy for you. They assumed you had to plan your meals out or spend all day cooking because that’s how hard it is. They didn’t think bread was vegan (I have no idea where that came from). They know vegans who eat eggs! (Oh dear.) And they thought soy is really, really bad for you because something about hormones. And so on…

I wasn’t sure what to do as these were just people I’d met on 3rd Avenue, so I gave them my contact details and offered to go shopping with them any time they wanted. I offered a tour of a health food store or even Whole Foods. I offered to share my 30+ years of experience in any way I could, but I haven’t heard from them.

What I took away from this encounter was that vegan misconceptions still run rampant and there is a lot of work to be done! If anyone reading this would like a tour of a health food store and assistance with removing animal products from your plate, I am happy to help! And maybe one day the ladies I met on the street will contact me and I will have to rewrite this post :)

Breakfast scramble wrap at all vegan Terri in Chelsea, New York City. 

Originally published on May 02, 2019

It’s definitely not pleasant, but occasionally something that’s not vegan, uh, slips by.

And it can definitely be unpleasant.

A few years ago I was in Philadelphia to see Adam Ant play live. I hadn’t seen him in a few years and to say I was excited was probably an understatement. I didn’t have much of an appetite that day and didn’t eat very much. I took the bus to Philly, checked into my hotel, and hightailed it over to the venue. The show was amazing and after, I stuck around to have a drink and talk to people I’d met or run into. My hotel was close by, but I was on such a high after the show that when I left the theater I decided to wander around the city a bit.

I wasn’t walking very long when a sign in the window of an Asian café caught my eye. “VEGAN MENU,” it said, and the first choice was, “Soy chicken and broccoli.” That sounded really good and they were still open. I’d left a bunch of raw vegan snacks in my hotel room, but at that moment soy chicken and broccoli was exactly what I wanted. I went in, sat down, and ordered. And this is where things go downhill…

I was going over the photos on my phone, texting, and posting to Facebook and basically not paying attention. When my food arrived, I unwrapped my chopsticks and started to eat. I took a bite and then I took another bite. And then I felt a little funny. And then a little nauseated. This food wasn’t very good. In fact, it was kind of gross. I was disappointed and thought to myself, “This is the worst soy chicken I’ve ever had…” and then...

<Oh, no>

I don’t need to tell you, do I?

I called over my server who sheepishly confirmed that what was on my plate was pieces of a dead bird. (My words, not his.) Soon after that I ran to the loo and got sick. Sorry for TMI.

After, I gave the staff a piece of my mind. I’m sure NYC could hear me yelling from there.

The restaurant did not charge me nor did they offer me anything else. I think they were relieved when I stormed out the door.

The only good part of this is now when someone tells me, “You don’t know what you’re missing” by not eating meat, I can say, “Oh, but yes, I do. I definitely know what I’m missing.”

And I still don’t miss it!

I was annoyed (obviously) at the café for messing up my order, but mostly I was annoyed at myself for not checking what I was eating. Lesson learned!

Anyway, the point of this story is just that, it happens. Sometimes it happens when you’re careful and sometimes it happens anyway. It doesn’t mean you’re not vegan anymore or anything like that. This was an awful experience and I still wince when I think of it.

 The dish in question

Originally published December 16, 2018

When I was a kid, one of my favorite things to order in a restaurant (or more commonly, a New York area diner) was a BLT – a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. When I stopped eating meat, I started ordering the sandwich without bacon which did feel a bit strange for a second and then perfectly normal. To me, anyway. Remembering the conversations I used to have with waitstaff, it definitely did not seem normal to them. 

Me: “I’d like a lettuce and tomato sandwich, please.”

Server: “One bacon, lettuce and tomato…”

Me: “No, just the lettuce and tomato, please.”

Server: “No bacon?”

Me: “No bacon.”

Server: “Ummmm. Uh. No bacon????”

Me: “No bacon.”

Server: “Just the lettuce and tomato?”

Me: “Just the lettuce and tomato.”

Server: “JUST the lettuce and tomato??”

Me: “With mayonnaise on toast, please.”

Server: “You don’t like bacon?”

Me: “I’m a vegetarian.”

Server: “You’re a…..”

Me: “Vegetarian.”

Server: “YOU’RE a vegetarian??”

Me: “Yes…”

Server: “Soooo JUST the lettuce and tomato? But. But. Uh. You can have ONE piece of bacon, can’t you…?”

And that’s how it would go.

Maybe this has happened to you where you just want to order your food and the person you are dealing with is not listening or not cooperating or somehow seems to think there needs to be animal products on every plate. Today it is a bit more common to ask for substitutions in restaurants, but you can still be met with this sort of situation where the server is just not getting it. Here are some of the best ways I have found to deal with this over the years:

1. Don’t say the word “vegan.” I know, I know, but trust me on this. Unless you are absolutely sure your server knows what it means, it’s best to just leave it out. The world is definitely waking up, but many servers just haven’t a clue. Apologies to those who do! But you’ll find waitstaff who think vegan means vegetarian, who think it means cheese (because they “know vegans who eat cheese!”), who think it means healthy, who think it means gluten free. They should know what it means, but so often they don’t, so just order what you want: “I’ll have a lettuce and tomato sandwich.” “I’ll have the quesadilla without the cheese.” “I’d like the avocado toast without the bacon.” If they press or ask directly, then I will say “vegan,” but other than that, I won’t.

2. If you’re not sure what’s in something, ask exactly that. Again, don’t say, “Is it  vegan?” or “Is there egg in it?” So many times the person you are dealing with is not informed or just wants to rush things along, and will tell you whatever it is they think it is you want to hear. Ask specifically, “What’s in it?” or “What are the ingredients?” If they ask you what you are worried about, again, ask directly. Don’t be shy. Be polite (always!), but firm. This way you get more of a straight answer and not just a yes or no or whatever they think you want. I’ve had way fewer slip-ups like this and many times the server will admit they didn’t know the ingredients and will go and check for you. (And you end up getting what you want instead of having to send it back again and again.)

3. If you’re going to a fancy restaurant or somewhere where you really have concerns, consider phoning ahead or stopping in to talk to a manager. I usually tell them “I’m coming to your restaurant with some friends or family and I *know* it’s not a vegan establishment…” and at that point they usually take over and ask how they can help you and what you want. Again, always be polite and non-confrontational. Most restaurants just want to make their customers happy and I have found that approaching them beforehand and explaining things yields better results than just showing up. Sometimes you even get a manager or a chef who sees this as a challenge and you end up with an awesome meal.

4. Always be polite and always check your food before you take a bite. Always! Don’t make a fuss if something is wrong, but kindly inform your server it’s not what you ordered. You are more likely to get proper service this way – save the venom for a chat to the manager after or for Yelp!

The world is waking up and it’s easier to eat in a non-vegan restaurant than ever before. It can still be tricky, but I definitely don’t get the same arguments or confusion as I got in the beginning. Bon appetite!

Breakfast enchiladas at all vegan diner Champs in Brooklyn, New York